I find kids to be a great cross-reference for me to show me whether I am here, present with them or in my mind – if for example I’m allowing myself to go into worries and fears and concerns instead of being here with them…
I would for example be sitting and not realizing time has gone by and I was in my head until a child comes up and asks me a question. I realize whoa wait – what did I miss? Where did the time go by? This is a serious point because time goes by and if our attention is placed around problems we keep thinking, obsessing and focusing about, we are allowing our reality and our kids to ”go on by” without our attention, guidance and direction – and in some cases our inattention and unawareness of what is going around us can create consequences in reality we don’t want to experience.
Kids are also exceptionally great at testing you for real-time change. There was a specific moment where I was not happy in how I interacted with a parent. I wish I could have said and done something better and I dipped into this low-experience of judging myself but soon enough kids came into my presence and ”interrupted” me from this experience – rattling me out of the mood, present, physical, needing me HERE with them. I saw this very clearly the distinction of what matters – what matters is for me to be present, here, stable with the kids. They are what matters. They need an adult ”here” in reality because they are here in reality.
I’d say you really see who you are and where you place importance when you are with kids. Kids are very physical, very ”in-tune” with themselves and their bodies. They don’t think or have so many thoughts like us – they live in the present, they express themselves unconditionally, they are HERE in reality, and they will naturally interrupt or snap us back to reality with their questions, their need of our presence, their tugs at our arm or a grab of our hand… THEY NEED US and so we need to BE THERE for them.
Suggested Steps to Assist in Remaining Present with Children:
- Acknowledge what we are so pre-occupied with in our heads (ie: what are the emotions, experiences or unresolved issues you can’t seem to understand or forgive, in fact)
- Help yourself to find the resources and tools you need to resolve these issues that are unresolved and busy mulling around in your head. Match the emotions to specific memories and walk forgiveness to release yourself, gain clarity and realizations. These personal issues you have can take up so much space and energy in your self and body to the point where it’s hard to stay present with the kids. Kids need you to be present here with them, just as you would have liked your parents/adults to be present and with you when you were a kid.
- Be consistent in supporting yourself, taking care of yourself and resolving points in you on a daily, moment-by-moment basis to ensure you keep your body and self working properly, steady, and strong.
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